Merkel Revealed

Merkel Marmaduke conducts his visits to hot chocolate venues without revealing his identity. This helps ensure unbiased reviews for his readers. Recently Merkel and Mytrle visited Fiefy's, where Fiefy, the young and energetic proprietor, asked Mytle whether she was responsible for this blog. Merkel revealed he was the author. This is the first such occasion this has happened face to face although many venues have now received the "Hot Chocolate:Dark Desires" business card. Well done Fiefy, for identifying Merkel and producing a great Chilli hot chocolate with dark Belgian chocolate.

A Dark Romance

The Adelaide Review is a well respected free monthly journal. It is always a good read and has a reputation for giving an independent view and focussing on the finer things in life. In its June 2010 issue it has a feature on coffee & chocolate by John McGrath on pages 40–43. The feature is fairly wide-ranging, talking about large chocolate monopolies, free trade chocolate, organic chocolate and some favourite local chocolatiers such as Haighs, Cocolat and Bracegirdles. Mr McGrath's independence as a reviewer could be called into question when he does a cut and paste of text of "The Pullman range of coffee tampers" advertisement from page 41 into his text on page 42 for no apparent reason, but everyone cannot be as fearlessly independent as Merkel Marmaduke.

The title of the feature is "A Dark Romance". It is not quite a dark desire but the similarity to this blog name is perhaps a coincidence.

Kate Ceberano

Kate Ceberano performed with her band at the Spiegeltent last week. This was not the Famous Spiegeltent in Elder Park for the Festival but the more infamous Doppelspiegeltent in the Garden of Unearthly Delights.

Kate was in a mischievous mood and gave a sold out crowd a very entertaining show on Thursday night. While she is better known for complicated melodic songs influenced by jazz rhythms and styling, Kate was happy to let her hair down and do covers of Blondie singer Debra Harry and the Divinyls Chrissie Amphlett. She carried this off adeptly, complete with rock posturing and facial expressions.

Kate joked with the audience through the night and did not let them down performing favourites such as Pash and Bedroom Eyes. At the end of the hour long concert she had the audience standing and cheering.

After the concert Merkel went in search for a new place to have a hot chocolate. Unfortunately he was not admitted to Fringe Club without a proper pass. Even his fame from reviewing hot chocolates was not sufficient to gain entry. So the Coffee Branch remains the best hot chocolate venue in the Garden of Unearthly Delights.

Shakespeare on Love

William Shakespeare was a master at writing about love. His words have had resonance with men and women through the centuries. "Shakespeare on Love: A Feast in Eight Courses" performed by "Poor Yorick" was an enchanting evening.

Cheryl Bradley and Rob MacPherson played their way through the love scenes of eight of the Bard's well known love scenes to the accompaniment of a lone Cellist. A couple of sonnets were thrown in for good measure. The couple brought great meaning to some wonderful words ably supported by Kate Fraser, who performed the parts of the more incidental men and women. "Picnic at Connies" was an intimate garden setting that worked well with the chosen scenes. This was a thoughtful and well constructed piece of Adelaide Fringe entertainment.

There were wines and nibbles available at "Picnic at Connies" but no hot chocolate. Merkel and Myrtle crossed Unley Road to visit Vino Ristorante for supper which will be reviewed in another posting.

Jazz at the Wheatsheaf

Three young musicians from Sydney have organized a series of fringe show at the Wheatsheaf this week. Franklin (Tenor Sax), Arthur (Trombone) and Dobson (Double-Bass) are teaming up with some their friends in different combinations. Merkel attended the first night which started with a quartet of two Tenor Saxes, Bass and Drums. The two saxes worked well together and the ensemble work with the rhythm section was tight.

The second set was more challenging. Some of the music was less accessible and the lack of drums meant that the driving rhythm was gone despite the best efforts of Dobson on Bass. All the musicians were unquestionably talented and the Sunday gig where they all get together promises to be entertaining.

The Wheatsheaf is on our list of Adelaide Fringe Venues. Merkel observed the Wheatsheaf had an espresso machine but did not trouble the staff for a hot chocolate this evening because of the busy event.

Fringe Exhibitions on Unley Road

Merkel and Myrtle found a couple of fringe exhibitions away from the bustle of the city on Unley Road. Koppamurra Gallery at 32 Unley Road was exhibiting "Adelaide, Athens of the South…". This was a photographic exhibition of pictures taken around the CBD of Adelaide paying attention to the Greek influences in columns, doorways and sculpture. The colours of the photos were adjusted to give the pictures a surreal effect. Many of the features were recognizable as Adelaide but the artistic effect was one of another world. This was a fun exhibit where you could appreciate the Greek influences and spot the Adelaide landmarks.

Up the road a bit further at 109 Unley Road is Cold Krush . This store/gallery sells vinyl records, fancy shoes, T-Shirts, art work and a range of oddities. This venue was exhibiting "Busting Out" which is a collection of artwork done with parts of a bus. There were a number of bus windows painted with bright colours and designs. There was lamp made from holding bars from inside a bus. There were bus panels, ticket bins and even a mechanism for showing the bus number and destination. This was a clever theme and artistic designs were matched with the form and sometimes the original decoration of these recycled objects.

Neither of the venues provided catering but there are a number of hot chocolate venues nearby such as Small Talk, Boho, Serves you Right and Free.

A Little More Light

"A Little More Light" was the pyrotechnic spectacular that was put on by Group F of France for the opening weekend of the Adelaide Festival 2010. A huge crowd assembled at the Southern end of Victoria Park racecourse in front of a backdrop of gum trees. This was an entertaining and cohesive work using lights, fire and fireworks in tight synchronization with a wonderful original music backing.

Victoria Park worked well as a venue with thousands of people making the trek from all directions. The catering was fairly minimal although the free water and glow sticks from sponsors Adelaide Bank and Santos were a bonus. The van from Trak Catering Services was there offering coffees and hot chocolate but the queue was far too long to attract your reviewer.

Iambic Heptameter

This is an Iambic Heptameter with a rhyming couplet of Iambic Dimeter at the start of the Heptameter. See http://english3.fsu.edu/~mkennedy/poeticform.htm for some basics on poetic form.

You mock a lot
My choc-o-late
So you should be aware
If you appear
To scoff and sneer
You'll never get a share

I like to think
That as I drink
The coffee sippers know
That all of this
They sadly miss
The choc'late drinker's glow.

Dactylic Tetrameter

The key to the dactylic meters is that the emphasis is on the first syllable of the three syllable dactyl. The dactyl in the tetrameter can be abbreviated to one or two syllables to help the rhyme.

It seemed to be sensible to start the rhyme with "Love is Like Choc'late" and I found two anonymous quotes on the subject to help me along:
“Love is like swallowing hot chocolate before it has cooled off. It takes you by surprise at first, but keeps you warm for a long time.” Thinkexist
"Forget love-- I'd rather fall in chocolate!" Chef2Chef

Love is like choc'late before it goes cool-ish
Shocking to start and then you feel foolish
Dark and uncanny but light like you're dancing
Never secure you are all the time chancing

Food of the gods is favoured by Merkel
Luncheon liaisons and choc'late with Myrtle
Falling in love has you deeply immersed
Falling in choc'late less deeply you're cursed

Dressed in a cup or a glass or a beaker
The feeling for promise resistance is weaker
Sweet aphrodisiac love is enhancing
Sip on our choc-o-late with our romancing

Anapestic Tetrameter

If Merkel is ever to write verse as well as "Cat in the Hat" by Dr. Seuss he has to master the Anapestic Tetrameter.

When you drink a hot drink
Once it steams in the pan
You must think where it goes
In a cup or a can

In a cup or a mug
With a handle to hold
Will be best for the drink
To avoid turning cold

But a glass has a problem
A beaker might too
If no handle is there
And no gloves are on you

For to hold a hot bev'rage
With sensitive hand
Is so hard with no handle
So just let it stand

To avoid the chances
Of fingertip burn
Paper napkins can help
With a twist and a turn

Now remember this lesson
In how to serve drink
It is not always easy
Like you may all think

Amphibrachic trimeter

Amphibrachic trimeter is often used in Limericks. The emphasis is on the second syllable of a three syllable Amphibrach. The trimeter uses three such sets of three syllables rather than the dimeter which uses two.

When Merkel eats lunch he invites along Myrtle
Who provides her ideas and concepts quite fertile
For she is respected, a member of Mensa,
A qualified lawyer, accountant and censor

In lunchtimes when ev'ryone's rushing and frantic
Old Merkel takes time to be calm and romantic
For dining with Myrtle is such a great pleasure
A time of fine tastes and a time one should treasure

Two syllable rhymes get a bit tricky. The last amphibrach can also be one syllable as in the following rhyme.

This choc'late looks good but its flavour is weak
I like a rich drink and it's difference I seek
To water it down is just such a big sin
The food of the gods should not be so thin

I like a dark flavour and one that is bold
And wonderful drinks should all be extolled
So I will keep writing so all can now know
For tasty hot choc'lates, just where we can go

Trochaic Dimeter

Shakespeare used the Trochaic Dimeter occasionally and so does Merkel. It is like Iambic Dimeter except the emphasis is on the first and third syllables.

Bubble, Bubble
Toil and Trouble
Whisk it Lightly
Make it Sprightly

Churn it Louder
Choc'late Powder
You can taste it
Just don’t waste it

Holy Holy
Pour it slowly
Let it build up
'Til it's filled up

Place a yellow
Sweet Marshmallow
On the saucer
Now don't force her

Care to take it
Not to shake it
Serve it steaming
Children beaming

Iambic Dimeter

In order that Merkel Marmaduke can become a popular children's order like Dr. Seuss, he is trying out different poetry forms on a subject close to his heart.

I like to stock
A nice hot choc
I think to drink
Without a blink
I seem to dream
Of sweetened cream
Exotic spice
Is also nice

Dr Seuss

Again your humble reviewer returns to poetic forms describing hot chocolate themes. We had Haiku, Limericks and Valentine poems in previous postings. Unlike anagrams and palindromes rhyme and meter are very important in poetic forms. One of the masters of this for children's verse was Dr Seuss which is the alias of Theodor Seuss Geisel.

A couple of good parodies of Dr Seuss verse in relation to computer issues have been executed.

• Dr. Seuss Explains why Computers Sometimes Crash
• Dr. Seuss Comes to your Computer

What makes Dr Seuss books unique is the use of simple language and themes that appeal to children. "Green Eggs and Ham" uses a vocabulary of just 50 words and only "anywhere" has more than one syllable. Also Dr Seuss usually uses a strict meter and simple rhymes. "Cat in the Hat" is mostly Anapestic Tetrameter. "Green Eggs and Ham" mostly Iambic Tetrameter.

After mulling over this analysis of meter and rhyme a Junior Marmaduke suggested I just change the words to Green Eggs and Ham rather than try to write anything original. This seemed far easier. Thus what we have is an abridged version with apologies to Theodor Giesel.

That Merkel Pet!That Merkel Pet!
I do not like that Merkel Pet!
Do you like hot choc-o-late?
I do not like it, Merkel Pet.
I do not like hot choc-o-late.
Would you like it here or there?
I would not like it here or there.
I would not like it anywhere.
I do not like hot chocolate.
I do not like it Merkel Pet.
Would you like it in a house?
Would you like it with a mouse?
I do not like hot choc-o-late.
I do not like it Merkel Pet.
Would you drink it in a box?
Would you drink it with a fox?
I would not drink hot choc-o-late.
I do not like it Merkel Pet.
You do not like it. So you say.
Try it! Try it! And you may.
Try it and you may, I say.
Merk! If you will let me be,
I will try it. You will see.
Say! I like hot choc-o-late!
I do! I like it, Merkel Pet!
So I will drink it in a box.
And I will drink it with a fox.
And I will drink eat it in a house.
And I will drink eat it with a mouse.
And I will drink it here and there.
Say I will drink it ANYWHERE!
I do so like hot choc-o-late!
Thank you! Thank you, Merkel Pet.

Palindromes

In a previous posting we looked at anagrams. Palindromes are much more rigid as they spell out the same message when spelt backwards. A couple of famous ones on another site are "Madam I'm Adam" and "A man, a plan, a canal - Panama."

Trying to right a palindrome about hot chocolate is no easy task as there are not many words that include the letter "HC" in that order. The best I can do is:

No choc side disc, oh con.

This requires a bit of imagination to work out a scenario where this phrase might be used.

Your reviewer's name does not lend itself to palindromes either. The best I can do is

Hale Kremlin nil Merkel, ah!

This is an odd way to say that the Kremlin will be much more robust without Merkel and that Merkel is relieved at this thought.

My readers may consider that adding liqueurs to hot chocolate makes them unsuitable for consumption by children. Liqueur hot chocolate could be considered for Adults Only (AO). I would hope then that my readers might accept the palindrome:

AO Cocoa

Anagrams

Earlier in this blog a number of poetic forms were presented describing hot chocolate themes. We had Haiku, Limericks and Valentine poems.

They are not quite poetry but anagrams and palindromes are also a form of grammatical acrobatics that can come up with amusing outcomes. This posting looks at a few anagrams and a later one will look at palindromes.

Some anagrams of "Merkel Marmaduke" with assistance from wordsmith.org.

Earmarked elk mum
Mum leaked remark
Armed elk make rum
Armed make me lurk

Some anagrams of "Hot Chocolate"

Locate hooch
Cache hot loot
Loot the coach
That coco hole

Return to the C Coffee Shorts Film Festival

Merkel returned to the Shorts Film Festival on Thursday. After collecting his C Coffee hot chocolate he sat down at a table to take in some more entertaining movies. The Australian films on show are reviewed below:

A World Away
This was a story of a little girl kept in an attic by her evil Aunt. The drawings the girl makes come to life with some simple but effective animation. The border between imagination and reality is blurred in the conclusion to this film. This story built to its climax well but the adults in the story lacked some credibility though.

Talk Derby to Me
This was a documentary about a scary group of Roller Derby girls. I had no idea we had such a community in Adelaide.

My New Toy
A number of the films this evening featured children who all performed well. This film involved a boy who went to enormous lengths to save up for his favourite toy. This was a well made story with a twist.

The Dressmaker's Daughter
This film seemed to be more of an experiment in different forms of animation than a film that told a story. There were some interesting visuals but the plot and significance were lost on me.

The Bully
For me, this was the dramatic highlight of the evening. It was a well-constructed script with a couple of turns that caught the viewer off guard. It was good see Adelaide schools, kids and suburbia used to produce such an effective film. The story left the audience questioning the morals of the outcome. The acting, dialogue and film technique was high quality.

At the End of the Day
This was only a five minute movie but the film craft that went into it was immense. The film was about a paparazzi photographer questioning the ethics of his profession and involved a night time scene with a large cast. The effect was a well made piece that raised some questions in the minds of the audience.

The Offer
This film was about a man who was on parole and without an income, dealing with issues raising a 16 year old daughter. He has to avoid the temptation to break the law to get some money to pay for his daughter's trip to Queensland. This involves some uncomfortable moments. The production, dialogue and musical background all produce a professional package.

A Little Problem
Most of us have our little problem. Kevin's comes in the form of small, furry, obnoxious creature about a foot high. Think of Gremlins and Furbies and you get an idea of what the creature is like. This is a live action film but the creature is animated brilliantly and incorporated seamlessly into the film. The result is a believable comic short film with a clever finish.

Work Ready
This is a drama about a Down syndrome woman looking for work. It has a very strong message about the difficulties of people with disabilities looking for employment. The performances from the actors with disabilities are brilliant. The film is well produced and tells a good story.

Notes From a ScareSmith
Walter is the housemate from hell. He has a penchant for scaring people and watching their panic. This short film is played for laughs but everyone is relieved when the irritating Walter gets his comeuppance. The idea for this film was good and it was executed well.

Talking the Language of Chocolate

The origins of the Babel Fish are in the Douglas Adams book "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" (more on that below). Full marks are due to Yahoo for picking this idea up in the language translation program, however language translation programs are less than perfect. The standard test is to take a phrase in English, translate it to another language and translate it back to English to see how good the process is. Your reviewer tried this with the phrase

I like my hot chocolate rich and dark

The Chinese translation was pretty close:

I like my hot chocolate being rich and being dark

The Dutch and German translations got a bit off the mark:

I love my hot chocolate realms and dark (Dutch)
I like my realms and darkness of the hot chocolate (German)

The French and Italian translation had a bit of trouble getting back into English

J' love my rich person and darkness of hot chocolate (French)
Gradico my rich and dusks of the warm chocolate (Italian)

Korean and Japanese seem to be fixated on the man rather than the chocolate:

I like my hot chocolate rich man and darkness (Korean)
I like the rich person and the darkness of my cocoa (Japanese)

Some other nationalities do not fare much better:

I like the boiling hot riches and my dark of chocolate (Greek)
I have taste of my rich and darkness of the hot chocolate (Spanish)
I love my rich and the darkness of the hot chocolate (Russian)
I my rich blackness and taste of the hot chocolate (Portugese)

Lastly I thought I would translate from English to Dutch to French to Greek and back to English with the following result:

I keep the boiling hot kingdoms of my chocolate and dark

Footnote:
I refered to Wikipedia for the following:

The Babel Fish is small, yellow, leech-like, and is a universal translator which simultaneously translates from one spoken language to another. When inserted into the ear, its nutrition processes convert sound waves into brain waves, neatly crossing the language divide between any species you should happen to meet whilst travelling in space. Meanwhile, the poor Babel fish, by effectively removing all barriers to communication between different races and cultures, has caused more and bloodier wars than anything else in the history of creation. Arthur Dent, a surviving Earthling, commented only 'Eurgh!' when first inserting the fish into his ear canal. It did, however, enable him to understand Vogon Poetry - not necessarily a good thing. The book points out that the Babel Fish could not possibly have developed naturally, and therefore proves the existence of God as its creator. However, as Man points out, God needs faith to exist, and this proof dispels the need for faith, therefore causing God to vanish "in a puff of logic".

Valentine Poem

On this blog site there is plenty of Haiku poetry and some limericks. I got the idea of Valentine poetry from another website and decided to produce one myself.

Roses are red
Choc'late is hot
I think you're sexy
Your mother is not

Hot Chocolate Haiku Continues

Dear readers, you may have thought you had seen the last of hot chocolate Haiku after the previous postings on this poetry form. I have to draw your attention to a website which includes a seven verse Haiku and a recipe for French Hot Chocolate. The Haiku verse includes

Back at the cottage
Steaming hot choc'late awaits
The fire ablaze

Myrtle points out that the last line has only four syllables unless you pronounce "fire" with two. This did not stop her trying to deliver the recipe on the website with some variations.

The recipe called for 2 ½ squares of chocolate. We were not sure how much 2 ½ squares of chocolate was. Different chocolates have different sized squares. We checked out some other internet recipes and figured that 100g of chocolate should be enough and we added vanilla essence to taste. In the end we were in too much of a hurry to whip the cream. So it probably was not much like the original recipe after those variations but it produced a creamy, chocolate drink with a pleasant sweetness.